I think it's time to stop reflecting so much on the past and go back to looking forward to tomorrow. I don't know what has made me fall back into the past but I put a stop to that a week ago..
Living and going back to the past is not where my future is and not where I can fix things and make them right again. It just doesn't work that way..
I guess I got into that mode since as a mom I always want to fix things for them and try to make their world perfect, life doesn't work like that.
I didn't realize how far back down that road I had fallen until I couldn't even write anymore, anywhere online or offline. That was a shock, writing has in a way of sorts always been my therapy, and it was stifled..
The last week has been one of renewed hope and clarity of mind and looking forward to writing a lot again like I used to..
My sanity and happiness and my kids are depending on me and so am I.
So as I am sitting here tonight with a rare glass of wine before bed,
I am thinking back over the past and how far I have actually come in the last 8 years..
It was almost 8 years ago today that my whole world was turned upside down in a matter of minutes..
I had an 8 yr old daughter, 5 yr old son, and a new baby girl 6 months old and I was 33 at the time when my husband who was 43 came home one day after work and said he wanted a divorce, he had met someone else from his office and they were in love..Umm yeah okay..
I was too numb to even think or argue with him, I was tired, and I just let him pack his suitcases and go..Little did I know her was gone for good.
He was an attorney so money was never an issue.
We had a 3500 sq foot house, 2 brand new cars, took trips, had a cabin on the lake, and I never really anted for anything…
And then he was gone, and life was changed overnight, and I stuck to my guns and got what I wanted.. and in the long run it was cheaper for him then what he figured it would be..Since he was a partner in a law firm
I could have dragged his name through the mud but I decided to take the high road and do what I needed for my kids’s sakes.
I got enough child and spousal support to make sure I could stay home until my youngest turns 18 and do side jobs here and there when I can to supplement my income.
It has not been an easy road at all, and there have been many nights when I have cried myself to sleep but it has been worth it for my kids are growing up to be sane well-adjusted human beings.
Well hello again, my little blog..
I can’t believe it has been a whole year since I have blogged..
What a rude awakening to log into my blog and find that all my posts had somehow vanished , and never to be seen again..
I didn’t back up my blog so I guess I will be starting from scratch again, oh well seems to be the story of my life, but at least I always start over.
Nothing can keep me down for long..
I have so many things i have learned over the last year mostly about myself and what is important to me, and found a new strength I didn’t know I had..
So back to blogging and letting the ideas flow…